On freedom and cartwheels.

On freedom… Because I didn’t know what to say when I ended up in a ritual around freedom. The question: When do you feel most free? What is freedom to me? I wanted to cry. I listened to the others saying “ I feel free when I dance, when I sing, when I express myself fully, etc.” But for some reason, I just wanted to cry. I didn’t know what freedom was. But I’ve spent my whole life fighting what wasn’t freedom. Looking for freedom, grasping freedom, running away to be free. I feel free when I feel the wave of the ocean, a bird soar, a tree sway, thunder rumble, lightning flash, wind in my hair. But what does freedom mean to me? I know what it’s not. I bet you do too. I did all the things in the book to break away from authority and the system. I wanted to be wild, no bars, no rules, no boss. Today, I realized that being free for me was allowing myself to feel vulnerable. So vulnerable, that I had to protect myself. Wear sunglasses, a beanie, a big jacket and a scarf… in the summer. Today, I didn’t want to share about me, I didn’t want to reveal my feelings, my wounds, my story. I felt like a clam. All closed up. And instead of forcing myself to open. I let myself be mute. I let myself go only as far as felt comfortable. I let myself look ridiculous. I said today, I don’t want to talk. That for me is freedom. Yes, it’s doing cartwheels on the beach in your underwear. Screaming at the waves. It’s also looking like shit. Feeling closed off and holding my own fragility with care. Allowance of myself to truly marinate in my own essence and really truly be ok with it. No judgment, no you should’s, no coaxing, just allowance. This for me today is freedom. Learn the wisdom of your own body and higher self. Sign up to Receive your free gift: “10 simple ways to add more play to your life” and get my monthly fun videos and insights here: http://eepurl.com/bcZMy5 Or learn more on my website: www.carlykocreation.com