Disturbing Video Game Music [4]: Hyness Collection

MAJOR Spoilers for Kirby Star Allies beyond this point, probably. Tread lightly, viewer. Phase 2 music omitted bc that song just kicks ass plain and simple. Up until now, Kirby had had its regular dips into the nightmarish. Just about every final boss in the series has stretched the saccharine, simplistic exterior of the series as far as it could, with horrific visuals or tragic backstories or mythical mysteries. But nothing like this. When you make it to the final boss's lair in Kirby Star Allies and Interference ( 0:00 ) starts playing, it becomes immediately apparent that something is /wrong/. The classic showdown between good and evil is pushed aside slightly by a new fear, of something twisted, and dark. Hyness, the stoic-presenting hooded leader of the Jambandran Cult, quickly reveals himself to be absolutely insane. He sways drunkenly as if possessed, and walks too slowly, his eyes drifting lazily under his hood and never blinking. Then, two seconds later, he's waving his arms frantically in the air and rambling breathlessly at intense speeds, throwing out curses and declarations of vengeance inbetween breaths and praises to his literal dark god, all underscored by the same wavering, slow melody. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), his first phase goes by so fast that you don't get to hear Officiant of Doom ( 2:26 ) for very long. A sharp, uncompromising tune that isn't afraid to blow out your ears with a sudden loud note to really get across the instability of your foe. And those /shivering/ and /squealing/ violins? When I listen to that part out on a walk, I can never resist the urge to seize all my neck muscles and twitch my head to the beat. I bet anyone who sees me out there things I'm a complete lunatic, which I suppose is appropriate. It doesn't stop there, however. Even beyond his ludicrous second phase (music not included bc it just kicks ass plain and simple), Hyness never stops topping charts for doing fucked up shit in a Kirby game. As Sacrificial Ritual plays ( 5:36 ), you get to watch him drag his beaten, battered, bruised, bludgeoned, beleagured body up to the altar and literally sacrifice three of his minions who trust him more than anything (including one with whom he is more-or-less explicitly stated to be romantically involved with) to the dark heart on the altar, before with a desperate cry for his god, throwing /himself/ in as well. It may not be Zero ripping his iris out of his body and chasing you down in a final hail mary while blood pours from his eviscerated ocular nerves, but Hyness basically does a triple-murder-suicide. In a Kirby game. And summons a god of the endless void in doing so. Definitely a new low point for the series (the worst, AND THE BEST, ). I look forward to and dread seeing how they might top Hyness. Twitter:   / poltergust5000