IVF diaries | Stims day 4-8 | egg retrieval

IVF asks us to hold a lot of opposing emotions at the same time—hope and fear, gratitude and grief, excitement and exhaustion—and none of that means I am not strong enough. It means I'm human, and I've already been through a lot. As I head into my egg retrieval and look toward transfer, I have to remind myself to be gentle with myself. I don’t have to be positive all the time. I've already shown resilience just by getting here. One step at a time, one phase at a time. This process is so far out of my control, and I find myself feeling both excited and terrified at the same time. The hardest part for me is not only how out of control this is, but also the fear of not retrieving enough—or any—eggs. Despite it all, I’m incredibly grateful to have the option of IVF after years of miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies. This journey won’t be easy, but we continue to remind ourselves of the end goal: one day holding our baby. That said, I’m very relieved to be done with stims. I was lucky and only needed eight days, and I can’t wait for our transfer.