First love, then suddenly discarded – why people ghost

Dr. Britta Papay, narcissism expert and couples therapist, explains why ghosting hits so deeply—and how patterns like love bombing, attachment anxiety, and narcissistic dynamics lead us to repeatedly feel drawn to people who are not good for us. Especially the shift from intense closeness to sudden withdrawal can become emotionally ingrained—and makes it incredibly hard to let go. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why ghosting affects us so strongly — and what happens in the brain The role of narcissism, attachment anxiety, and modern dating dynamics How love bombing and sudden withdrawal create what’s known as a “trauma bond” Why we often feel attracted to people who are not good for us How to recognize if you’re in an unhealthy or toxic relationship Why authenticity is the key to healthy relationships Chapters: 00:00:00 – Intro 00:02:17 – Understanding ghosting: Why it hits us so hard emotionally 00:13:14 – Trauma bonding: Why we struggle to let go 00:19:05 – Healthy vs. destructive relationships: How to tell the difference 00:21:39 – Why it’s so hard to leave toxic relationships 00:28:26 – Authenticity as protection: How to avoid toxic dynamics 00:36:12 – Beliefs in relationships: How they unconsciously shape your behavior 00:39:19 – Infiltrated thinking & narcissistic abuse after the breakup 00:50:51 – Why some people can leave—and others stay 00:54:01 – The turning point: When you should really walk away 01:03:06 – Case analysis: What the Collien Ulmen-Fernandes case reveals about relationships 01:13:52 – The final question to Britta Follow Britta: Free webinar “Guilt and shame in unhealthy relationships” (German): https://bit.ly/4dgU9Tj Book “Covert Narcissists”(German): https://amzn.to/4bKUb4M * Website: https://bit.ly/4tlRtbU Mindseed with Léon Heimann: YouTube: https://bit.ly/4sXRnaZ Spotify: https://bit.ly/4jVYBbg Apple Podcast: https://bit.ly/4q3BaOT Event: https://bit.ly/4rCFbdC My goal is to give you insights and perspectives that help you actively create change in your life. Note: Affiliate link. If you purchase through this link, you support my channel—at no extra cost to you.