Telling Loved Ones about Losing Your Faith - Part 2 | Ep. 1476b
Join Margi, John, and Carah as we discuss different approaches to telling loved ones about your loss of faith. Please share questions, lessons you've learned, and suggestions in the comments below. This episode is a part of our new "Gift of the Mormon Faith Crisis" project on Mormon Stories Podcast, where we will share tips and tricks for navigating, healing, and growth after a Mormon faith crisis. Part 1: • Telling Loved Ones about Losing Your Faith... Part 3: • Telling Loved Ones about Losing Your Faith... If you would like to see this sort of content continue, please become a monthly donor to the project here: https://donorbox.org/the-gift-of-the-... --------------- Show Notes: The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have by Mark Nepo https://www.amazon.com/Book-Awakening... Waking up with Sam Harris https://wakingup.com/ "The Backfire Effect," on You Are Not So Smart podcast https://youarenotsosmart.com/2011/06/... Dr. Dave Christian on Mormon Stories Part 1: https://mormonstories.org/podcast/253... Part 2: https://mormonstories.org/podcast/dr-... Part 3: https://mormonstories.org/podcast/dav... The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein [audio] • The Giving Tree - Animated Children's Book "Communicating with Children During a Faith Transition" on Gift of the Mormon Faith Crisis https://www.mormonfaithcrisis.com/com... "Native American Women and the Lamanite Myth" on Mormon Stories https://mormonstories.org/podcast/nat... "Examining Mormon Mind Control," Luna Lindsay Corbden on Mormon Stories https://mormonstories.org/podcast/rec... "Healing from a Faith Crisis Through Music" Thomas and Sierra Stokes on Mormon Stories https://mormonstories.org/podcast/hea... "TikTok's Nuanchoe" Carah Burrell on Mormon Stories https://mormonstories.org/podcast/car... Margi's blog, Beauty in the Now https://www.beautyinthenow.org/ Margi's Instagram https://www.instagram.com/margidehlin... Margi's Facebook / margidehlin Upcoming Thrive events https://www.thrivebeyondreligion.com/... --------------- Timecodes: 00:00:00 Introduction and recap of Part 1 00:10:02 What's working in your life right now? 00:17:05 Setting your intentions and values when deciding whether to disclose your faith crisis: Compassion and kindness are equally important as evidence and honesty 00:25:16 Your faith crisis is private; you get to choose who, if anyone, to share it with: "You don't owe your vulnerable parts to those who haven't earned the right to hold them" 00:29:00 Be compassionate: Does your TBM grandma NEED to know that you've lost your faith? 00:33:57 You'll worry less what others think about your faith crisis when you realize how seldom they do 00:39:16 Others might make it their personal mission to bring you back into the fold 00:42:30 Your safety and wellbeing matter: Will you get expelled from BYU, or sent home from your mission? Will your spouse or parents kick you out of the house? Do you have the emotional stamina for this right now? 00:47:36 Beware the "backfire effect": When a person's identity is tied to a belief, they will cling more tightly to that belief when presented with evidence that it's not true 00:56:18 Cookies and Gossip: Your ward and family may ostracize you, talk about you behind your back, and/or turn you into a project 00:59:17 The risk of church discipline 01:01:35 The benefits---and the privilege---of keeping one foot in the church and just being ambiguous about your testimony 01:03:58 Disclosing your faith crisis is a chance to practice setting healthy boundaries 01:07:23 When the need for authenticity overrides other concerns, or you need to disclose for your own mental health 01:21:08 Talking about your transition can help others, both in the church and out 01:31:28 Sharing your whole truth can increase intimacy, while withholding your faith crisis from spouse and children can lead to feelings of betrayal 01:46:54 Role play: Confrontation with an increasingly pushy ward member about why your family stopped attending church 02:05:21 Role play: Asking your bishop to be released from your calling without disclosing more than you want to 02:18:23 Closing remarks #LDS #Mormon #MentalHealth #PostMormon #ExMormon #MormonStories
