Stop Using the Feedback Sandwich — It Triggers Defensiveness Instantly

In this clip from a recent conversation between David Fung and Markus van Alphen on the Coachful Coaching Podcast, they unpack why the classic feedback sandwich doesn’t just fail — it actively triggers defensiveness. The moment someone hears “I have some feedback for you”, the brain already detects a threat. And when leaders try to soften the blow with forced compliments, people stop listening altogether. This conversation explores: • Why the “sandwich technique” backfires • What actually happens in the brain during feedback • How well-intended leaders unintentionally create resistance • Why safety matters more than sugarcoating If you want feedback to land, learning how people experience feedback matters more than the words you choose. 🎥 Extended clip    • Why Feedback Feels Like an Attack (And Why...   🎥 Watch the full podcast    • Why Fear-Based Leadership Fails (And What ...   📘 Discover The Excellent Leader books https://excellent-leader.com/the-books/ 🎓 Explore leadership & communication courses https://Excellent-Leader.com 💬 Question for leaders & coaches: What feedback habit did you have to unlearn the hard way? ⏱️ Chapters 00:00 Why feedback immediately feels like a threat 00:23 The feedback sandwich explained 00:52 Why leaders were trained this way 01:14 Why compliments stop being trusted 01:33 “What’s about to hit me?” — the real listener experience #Leadership #Feedback #CommunicationSkills #EmotionalIntelligence #PsychologicalSafety #Coaching #LeadershipDevelopment #ExcellentLeadership #CoachfulCoaching