Passover Song - "Seder Masochist" - Goldentusk

BUY THE HOLIDAY ALBUM!!! OUT NOW! https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/mus... SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE: http://goo.gl/KfQMIA OTHER Holiday Songs: May the 4th Be With You rap: http://goo.gl/e1cWIa Sperm: The Easter Musical: http://goo.gl/vjyd8R Passover Song - "Seder Masochist": http://goo.gl/jpNkgS April Fool's Day Song - "April Fool's, Fools!": http://goo.gl/IJwWXb St. Patrick's Day Song - "Another St. Patrick's Day Wasted": http://goo.gl/aRdCvb Valentine's Day Song - I've Got a Heart On: http://goo.gl/AyydER Hanukkah Song - "Sex for Hanukkah": http://goo.gl/IF5Bv9 I'm Breaking Up with You for Christmas: http://goo.gl/4lD9lc Christmas song - "The Only Holiday Gift Worth Giving": http://goo.gl/qQLKQP Watch my new webseries BAD TIMING. It's a romantic comedy about two people destined to fall in love after a zombie apocalypse. http://goo.gl/RhREeG Thanks for watching and LIKE, FAVORITE, and SUBSCRIBE!!! Facebook:   / badtimingshow   Twitter:   / goldentusk   Google+: http://google.com/+goldentusk Instagram:   / goldentusk   See some of my other classic videos such as: Superman Theme Song: http://goo.gl/6GQzMZ Batman Theme Song: http://goo.gl/UDTt7G JAWS Theme Song: http://goo.gl/qG5GVm Passover is one of the most widely observed Jewish Holidays. Seder Masochist is one of the most widely listened to Observational Jewish Holiday Songs. In 2011, it falls on April 18 and runs for either seven or eight days, depending on who you are and what you believe, which calendar you buy, and how long you're sleeping. The holiday is most known for the time when all of your Jewish friends are eating crackers, called Matzah. Or Matzo. Or Matza. Or, like every other Jewish word in the Hebrew language, a million other spellings and melodies consistent with the temples in your area. This song is about many aspects of the holiday: It's all about the fact that there are many times when I consider the eating of the matzah to be good, a far cry from what the Israelites had to eat when leaving Egypt in droves. It's also about not eating bread because the Jews didn't have time for the bread to rise, yet, instead we make fancy meals which take just as long, if not longer. It's also about three minutes and will destroy your concepts of what it means to throw a seder. HOW TO THROW A SEDER FOR PASSOVER 1. Be Jewish. It's probably not neccessary, but it helps. 2. Decide you're cool with buying food and drink for your friends and family and, most importantly, Elijah, the prophet who has never once come, even though I have left a full wine glass for him every year. 3. Remove all chametz, bread products from your house. Bread sucks. Carbs. It's a good time to start that Atkins Diet anyway. 4. Sell the chametz to a non-Jew before the holiday. That's right. You can SELL your bread to someone who is not Jewish, and then buy it back from them afterward. Hopefully, you're marking up the price and making a profit. Hey! Now you're thinkin! 5. Burn the remaining Chametz. Because it makes sense to waste food. On Passover. A Holiday commemorating the fact that so many Jews just left the house and ran without going to the grocery store to pick up Chocolate lollipops and Sour Jelly Fruit Slices. 6. Have enough Haggadah for everybody. These are the books for the seder. Because everybody likes to read. 7. Prepare the Seder Plate. Six items. zeroa, beitza, karpas, maror, chazeret, charoset. What are these things? Would it be easier if I said lettuce? Or horseradish? Probably. But why make it easy. 8. Have enough money for the Afikomen, the part of the Seder where you pay kids to find matzah that you hid around the house. In my family, I believe the prize money made it up to five whole dollars once. Extortion. 9. You need wine. 10. You'll need even more wine. You're supposed to have four cups worth. Let's make it four bottles. 11. Have some salt water for dipping. It's the tears. Immerse yourself in the imagery. 12. Listen to this song. 13. No, seriously. Don't just SAY you're going to. Really listen to it. I don't care there's so many videos on YouTube. I don't want to hear excuses. 14. Clean up. Swear you'll never do THAT again. Happy Passover! Andy Aka Goldentusk Other keywords: Passover seder masochist jewish jew