I Wasn’t Invited To My Stepson’s Wedding After Raising Him For Two Decades. Now The Whole Family...

I Wasn’t Invited To My Stepson’s Wedding After Raising Him For Two Decades. Now The Whole Family Is Refusing To Go Throw away, shortened for character count. For context, I have been married to my husband for just over 20 years. We started dating when my stepkids were 5 and 3. Our kids are: Adam (28, stepkid number 1), Ben (26, stepkid number 2), Charles (20), David (17), and Ellie (13). Adam is getting married at the end of summer to his fiancé Alice (27). We have all been very excited for them. All of the kids have roles for the wedding, Charles is the best man, the other two boys are groomsmen, and Ellie is a junior bridesmaid. Last weekend we had a dinner for my husband’s birthday, all of the kids attended along with Alice. The topic of the wedding came up again, and this is where it started to go downhill. Ellie brought up that she was So excited to go dress shopping and that we planned to go to a bigger city in a few weeks to get her a dress and me a stepmom of the groom's dress. At that, Alice looked at Adam sideways and responded that we only needed to worry about one dress, Ellie’s. Ellie kind of laughed and said “what are you expecting mom to wear? A suit?”. Alice responded with “(My name) isn’t going. You know we are keeping our guest list very limited to only family and a few close friends.” WHAT. Adam and Alice have been to our house numerous times for holidays, dinners, just to say hi since they’ve been engaged, this has never been brought up. Pretty quickly things escalated. The cliff notes version is that Charles asked them to clarify if they were choosing to uninvite me now or if I was never invited. Alice confirmed the latter. why? Adam said it’s because I’m not his mom. Charles, David, and Ellie argued with Adam and Alice that none of them were going to go if I wasn’t invited. That it was cruel to leave me out given I’ve been his parent for a majority of his life and loved him like my own. My husband and I admittedly sat there for a minute just damn shocked. Adam finally turned to my husband and said, “well?” My husband told him he wouldn’t be going either. Adam then turned to me and asked if I was really going to let everyone ruin his wedding on my behalf. Here’s where I might be the asshole: I just laughed. I don't know what came over me but the entire thing was just so ridiculous that laughing was the only thing I could get out. I told my husband I’d be waiting in the car and left. And then promptly bawled my eyes out. Anyways, Charles, David and Ellie are not talking to Adam. Adam called my husband yesterday to try and smooth things over. He was still adamant I’m not invited and it’s their wedding. He also requested I apologize for laughing at him. My husband told him tough crap. It’s their wedding and they can invite whoever they want, but they cant control who will actually go. He said THEY owe ME an apology and that Adam should be ashamed of himself. I’m getting texts now asking what the hell I did and why I’m being a “stepmonster and ruining the wedding”. am i the a hole? Some Comments: Commenter: I feel like there's a lot missing here. You've been married to his dad since he was 8. That was years of elementary, middle, high school, and college. 20 years. Is his mother living? Did his fiance influence him? Just seems odd to not invite his dad's wife of 20 years and call her not family. I don't think you're THE A HOLE, but I just want to know more about the past 20 years Original poster replied, I am sorry, I had to cut out a lot for the character count to post. When Adam called, my husband did ask him if I had done anything, if it was related to bio mom (she has never gotten along with us), if I had overstepped in any way. Adam says no, it’s just they want family only. Stepdad is invited as far as we know. I was a Stay at home mom for most of my stepkids childhood and we had 50-50. My husband has always worked a lot but has been as involved as possible, the house and child rearing mostly fell to me though. I love our kids to pieces. I thought we had made it clear from the beginning that I am, was another parent that loves them, not a replacement mom. We’ve never had any issues and I thought up until now that we were particularly close. Our communication has slowed since he met Alice but he was calling me about once or twice a week prior to this. Alice and I have gone shopping on occasion, gotten lunch, I even went with her to the florist for the wedding because her mom wasn’t available and Adam got called into work. There has to be something/someone causing an issue and my husband and I are baffled 👏🏻Thanks for Watching and Hope You Enjoy 👍🏻 👉🏻Join the notification squad! Click the BELL icon to get updated as soon as a video is uploaded. New video everyday👌🏻 ------------------------------------------ #reddit #askreddit #redditstories