Bryan & Vinny review TNA iMPACT! May 2011

This month: A network executive is set to appear on iMPACT! Robert Roode should go to WWE to make more money. Next week everything is going to change. Matt Hardy promises to challenge Beer Money at Sacrifice. Hernandez cuts a terrible promo. Velvet knows Angelina is being drugged. Dreamer is broke. Bischoff is pissed that Kurt is making matches. Rob Terry wrestles Murphy in a loser leaves town match and they get buried on the air. Lethal got fired. Ms. Tessmacher can't wrestle. Mickie is willing to fight Madison in order to get Tara fired? The sawed off runts are upset Lethal is fired. Angle announces Velvet is not the chosen one. TNA teases Goldberg but it's just the X Division dorks. A go home match to determine the top contender for the NEXT show. Hogan's idea is to hit a Spike executive with a pipe. Jarrett is funny. Madison thinks Tara calls her a rat. Matt Hardy's partner is Chris Harris. Foley is the network guy and he has a lot of passion. TNA is now Impact Wrestling. A 25 man battle royal which Mr. Anderson wins. Chyna is Angle's partner. Her debut is butchered but we get a pointless 3 way match. Boom - head shot bitch. The TNA PPV is boring and pointless. Karen gave Foley a large black man's X-rays. 2 ref bumps and a loaded glove. An awesome Abyss promo before he loses to Crimson. AJ and Dreamer have a boring Dreamer match. RVD is motivated but loses to Sting. Mr. Anderson is drunk. iMPACT! turns everything blue. Bischoff has power again in the new era and hates the X Division. Abyss wins the X Division title. Kazarian looks like an idiot. Bury Red and push Crimson. Chyna is gone. The culmination of the Angle Jarrett feud is a wrestling match. Karen is back in a wheelchair. Who is booking iMPACT!? Matt Hardy beats up the Young Bucks. They're doing the nWo all over again. ODB destroys Velvet. Immortal breaks Roode's arm while Fortune is out getting laid. Mr. Anderson is Surfer Sting.