Bryan & Vinny review TNA iMPACT! October 2014

This month: TNA has been in business for 12 years and has almost always sucked. Aries chooses to face Joe for the X Division title instead of picking Lashley. Joe retains. The Phantom remembers when the little guys did little guy matches Bryan, ironic. Spud is a dork who likes wrestling and shop at the toilet store. Eric Young's back. Havok is no Awesome Kong and is stupid. Team 3D and the Hardys bury the Wolves. Angle announces a Full Metal Mayhem match. Gail is a classic dumb babyface. Sharkboy got fat. MVP beats Mr. Anderson is a boring match. Why would Roode deserve another shot? Havok and Gail do badly in the ratings. Havok wins the Knockouts title. TNA looks and feels like ROH. Angelina, Taryn and Madison pretend to fight. Sanada and Storm will face Great Muta and Tajiri at Bound for Glory after Tajiri has already turned heel. Sam Shaw has a black arm tattoo. Brittany overacts. Roode has not slept in a month. Horrible advertisement for Bound for Glory. Roode pins MVP in a handicap match and beats Kenny King by DQ. TNA undefeated streaks are legendary. Spud and EC3 are awesome; EC3 fires Spud. 12 years of: To the Back! The American Wolves retain their Tag Championships. Taz and Tenay are not at Bound for Glory. Dixie tweets about James Storm - great idea. Team 3D is inducted into the TNA Hall of Fame. Bully used to be very fat. Bryan and Vinny are shocked by how hot the TNA crowd used to be. EC3 is bringing in Brodus Clay. Ryota Hama is fat. MVP has an athletic match. The current TNA linear X Division Champion is Samoa Joe even though the actual champion is Low-Ki. A wacky match. In 2014 Vinny is still not a fan of Young Bucks matches. Team 3D have a garbage match with Abyss and Dreamer. Bully and D-Von are dicks. Velvet submits to a hug. The Great Khali walks better than Great Muta. Not much of a main event. iMPACT! is now sad to watch. Angle lies to the audience. Madison Rayne and Havok have a bad match. Eric Young loves discussing percentages. Matt and Magnus have a nice match which Matt wins. Knux vigorously spanks DJZ. Brodus Clay is Tyrus now. Bram hits D-Von with a trash can. Shark Boy's gimmick is that he is fat. An 8 team tournament to find new contenders for the Tag Team titles. Roode wins the elimination match to become number 1 contender for Lashley's title. Bram declares himself the new king of hardcore. Brittany struggles to walk. Sam Shaw turns on Gunner. Havok is not working. Mr. Anderson respects Chris Melendez. Spud loves wrestling a lot. The tag tournament unfolds. A contract signing between Lashley and Roode. MVP is desperate to sell merchandise. Bram and Magnus aren't in the tag team tournament. Shark Boy loves eating and being rude. Taryn is terrible in a Knockouts tag match. Earl is an old pervert. Storm tries to recruit Davey Richards. Lashley has been TNA's best champion in a long time. Roode beats him to become the new TNA Champion. Franklin Roberto Lashley - ex champion.