Brain States in Coaching: John Kairouz's Guide to Deeper Conversations

Follow us to receive instant updates on our latest episodes: ➤Instagram:   / cta_coaching   ➤LinkedIn:   / coachtransformation   We went live with John Kairouz, a Human Development Capital Consultant, Neuro Integrative Coach, Master Trainer, TEDx Speaker, and Researcher. Backed by 17 years of research, John has dug dip into Neuroscience and Neuropsychology as an adaptation in human development and uncovered some interesting human evolution elements, a part of which he shared with our participants. 6:27 What is a state? 9:16 State is a projection of where that person is at that current point in time. Project is emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual (their sense of belonging to who we are). 10:19 Sometimes, we are not aware of or able to discern what's really going on with the coachee/client at the level of emotions, thoughts, and body (biochemical) state. 11:03 We, as human beings, tend to shift between different states of being. 11:12 The state of 'being' affects very much how open and responsive we are to any experience we're going through. 11:25 There are drivers in the human brain that affect our choices and decisions. Several drivers direct our behavior. We can learn and identify these drivers to shift from one to another. 14:10 There are 4 primary drivers in different areas of the human brain: Reptilian Brain (responsible for the fight, flight, freeze states), Paleo Limbic Brain (survival state focused more on dynamics of the group), Neo Limbic System (center for the majority of human emotions, belief systems), Prefrontal Cortex (center of logic). 19:37 We get influenced by the impact of these drivers only when they're driving. When we become self-aware, we learn how to spend less time with these drivers. 19:50 As coaches, the more we learn about these drivers, the more we become better at discerning the client's state's differences. 20:16 Neo Limbic System projects what's going inside us. 22:50 These four primary drivers affect our biochemical composition. 23:54 Where can these drivers be applicable in coaching experiences? Where a person's focus goes, that's going to interact. Their focus will interact with a set of beliefs, thoughts, values, and ideas. This will trigger one of these drivers to take over. 25:11 Coaching questions are powerful. They allow us to drive focus. We're never leading a client; we're driving their focus. 25:36 Well-engineered questions support coachee/client in choosing what to focus on. 27:40 Coachee/client in their reality when dealing with a painful experience, tend to see the world in much smaller than it really is. This is a known, measurable, and natural experience. 28:31 When a coachee/client experience a deep sense of safety with us and we're working together as partners, our body language communicates that. The state you're in as a coach very much affects the other person's state. 31:31 The more sensitive we become to recognizing the subtle differences in the client's behavior and state, the more empowered we become as coaches in serving the client better. 32:28 Why is state management important for coaching? 36:36 What ways can we enhance the client's state? 39:51 How to lead the coachee/client to an open, resourceful, and positive state for a coaching conversation. 42:27 Try to discover what's going on with the client before starting coaching to pull them out from their unresourceful state. 44:55 Our objective as a coach is not to solve the client's problem. 45:46 Human behavior is primarily driven by avoidance of discomfort and moving toward comfort. It all depends on our perception. Our perceptions of pain/discomfort are different from each other. 47:10 It's not for us to decide as a coach what's right or isn't right for them; it's for us to discover what's is and isn't right for them. If we spend too much time focusing on it, we miss out on the possibility of creating an objective. 47:42 The Mirror Technique to Create Objective. 50:00 What we are being driven by very much affects what we see and how much space we have to get there. Q&A - 50:58 - During the coaching conversation, I become very emotional on hearing the coachee's concern. How to overcome this? 59:08 - How to use this framework to avoid feelings of transference with the coachee's situation? 1:05:01 - Explaining states to your clients 1:07:22 - Is coaching only helpful for intelligent people? May a non-intelligent person be coachable? Considering the good understanding of verbal communication is a cornerstone. A big shoutout to John Kairouz! #coachtransformationacademy #deepercoaching #coaching