Why does 80% of the human population suffer from debilitating back pain? Why are our knees, feet, and spines prone to failure unlike almost any other animal? Welcome to a deep-dive sleep documentary into the "Vertical Tax"—the hidden price of human evolution. Tonight, we peel back the skin and look at the "hacked" blueprints of the human frame. We explore how our ancestors took a stable, horizontal "suspension bridge" design and tipped it upright, creating a tower of instability held together by tension and luck. From the volcanic ash of Laetoli 3.6 million years ago to the ergonomic chairs of the modern office, we trace the history of the "Universal Groan." Key Topics Covered: The Engineering Catastrophe: Why your spine is a stack of teacups balancing a bowling ball. The Obstetrical Dilemma: How standing up made human birth a life-threatening "key-in-a-lock" puzzle. The Persistence Hunter: The thermal trade-off that allowed us to hunt in the midday sun while lions slept. The Liberation of the Hand: Why the pain in your back was a necessary payment for the dexterity of your fingers and the power of your brain. Modern Mismatch: Why sitting in chairs is the final straw for a body built for the savanna. Sink into your bed, relax your shoulders, and let the history of your own body carry you into a deep, restorative sleep. Keywords: Human evolution, bipedalism, back pain history, evolutionary biology, anthropology for sleep, why humans walk upright, spinal health, human anatomy documentary, sleep stories for adults, the history of pain, persistence hunting, ancient Tanzania footprints, paleo-history.